WTF Retail

Yeah, hi, I work at customer service.  I know the answers to a lot of your questions.  Try asking.

And then my manager is all uppity because I had to call them away from whatever they were doing just to have someone ask a simple question.

Especially cigarette smoke.  That is nearly every item.  Also, some strange spicy smell that a lot of clothing has when returned.  I don’t get it.

Customer: Can I ask you a question?

Me: NO.

(Or so I wish).

…from a different state.

Hello, I am customer service, not Map Quest.

ashleycandraw asked: Your blog kicks ass! I work in a slightly different retail environment, but allll of this is still so relatable.

Why thank you!  My goal is certainly to be relatable.

Yo.  That register is closed.  Try the one with a person at it.

Anonymous asked: that moment when you have a long line of customers that are slowly growing more angry, and you keep hitting the "cashier assistance" button, and no one comes to help you, and to top it off, your manager is staring from across the store and doing NOTHING.

I understand your pain, friend.  Not ’answering the calls for additional’ is mentioned at the morning meanings practically every morning I’m there.  It’s a sad problem.

And, for people working customer service, not everyone is trained for that, so not everyone can answer.  I think everyone should know how to do at least a basic return.

So, I’m standing up at the service desk, waiting politely to help someone.  This old woman walks up (probably in late sixties, early seventies) and leans against my counter.  I can tell right away that she’s unhappy about something.

Me: Is there something I can do for you, ma’am?

Customer: Well, to start with, I want you to know I’m extremely irritated.

Me: Um, I’m sorry to hear that, ma’am.  Anything I can do?

Customer:  I need a gift registry.

Me: Oh!  Of course, right this way.

I point her in the direction of the registry, which is right beside the service desk and walk here SLOWLY through the process of printing out a registry.

Customer:  I’m really irritated to begin with.  I came into the store, on THIS side where your desk is and I didn’t see Customer Service up here.  So, I walked ALL THE WAY to the back of the store looking for you.  I don’t walk well.  I’m old.

I’m kind of staring at this bitter old lady, wondering who died and made her queen.  I mean, how is it my fault, heck, anyone’s fault that we moved the Service Desk to the front of the store without telling her? 

I wanted so bad to say: “Well, next time we’ll have the contractors come and ask for you permission!”

But of course I didn’t.  Instead, I smiled sympathetically and nodded like I cared.

Me: I’m sorry about that, ma’am.  We moved up here close to a year and a half ago.

The lady looks at the printed off registry and I can see she’s just not going to be happy.  She’s to bitter.  She shoves the registry printoff at me.

Customer: I have department stores.  Big places like this.  I don’t know where anything is.  Make someone help me find the stuff on this registry.

My life at Kohl’s in a nutshell.

Let me explain.  A customer brings up their cart of crap.  I ring it up and ask how they’ll pay.  “Kohl’s card.”  I scan the card.  It’s denied.  “Oh!  Just a sec, let me get out one of my other credit cards.”  Runs that through. It’s also denied.  Along with the next three.  Finally they pull out their debit card.  And I think, ‘Well, this will work hopefully, I mean, it’s tied to their bank account where all their available money is.’  They slide that.

And it’s also denied.

SO, they open their wallets and take out the last bit of cash they have on them and pay for their unnecessary crap.  This isn’t groceries or bills we’re talking about, this is clothing and such that they obviously don’t need to be spending money on.  If all of your cards are denied and your spending what I assume to be grocery/bill money at Kohl’s than you may be addicted to shopping.

And, therefore, your priorities are screwed up.